Leafageddon 2025: Columbia Borough Braces for the Great Sweep-Off
COLUMBIA, PA — Residents of Columbia Borough, grab your rakes, move your cars, and prepare your souls. The annual showdown between man, machine, and Mother Nature is upon us. That’s right: leaf collection and street sweeping notifications are back, and they’re coming for your curbs.
According to a tentative announcement (which is bureaucratic code for “maybe, possibly, unless it snows, rains, or someone sneezes too hard”), leaf collection will end on Friday, December 12, 2025, and street sweeping will wrap up on Friday, December 19, 2025. These dates are subject to change depending on weather conditions, planetary alignment, and the mood of the Public Works Department.
For updates, residents are advised to check the Columbia Borough website and the Police CrimeWatch page. Or just follow the sound of angry honking and confused neighbors yelling, “Is it sweeping day?!”
Parking: The Ultimate Test of Friendship
Every year, Columbia’s street sweeping season transforms the town into a live-action puzzle game. With limited off-street parking and signs that seem to play hide-and-seek, residents must navigate a maze of regulations, time slots, and passive-aggressive notes on windshields.
“I parked on the left side because my cousin’s dog said it was safe,” said local resident Gary Leafman, who received a $20 ticket and a stern lecture from Officer Mulch. “Turns out, the dog was wrong.”
In past years, friendships have been tested, marriages strained, and entire fantasy football leagues dissolved over who forgot to move their car. One local therapist reports a seasonal uptick in “parking-related trauma,” including dreams of being chased by a giant street sweeper named Carl.
A Brief History of Sweeping Glory
Street sweeping in Columbia dates back to the early 1900s, when a man named Harold “Dusty” McBroom pushed a giant brush down Locust Street while humming patriotic tunes. Today, the operation is mechanized, efficient, and slightly terrifying if you’re not expecting it.
Leaf collection was added in the 1970s after a rogue pile of leaves blocked traffic for three days and was declared a “sentient nuisance” by the Borough Council. Since then, the town has waged an annual war against foliage, armed with vacuums, rakes, and the collective will of mildly annoyed citizens.
Weather: The Ultimate Plot Twist
Of course, all of this depends on the weather. A single rogue snowflake could delay operations, while a surprise heatwave might cause the leaves to spontaneously combust (probably not, but we’re not ruling it out).
So what can you do? Stay informed. Stay parked legally. And for the love of all things leafy, don’t assume your neighbor’s car is a reliable indicator of sweeping day. That’s how Gary got ticketed. Again.
Final Words from the Borough
“We appreciate everyone’s cooperation,” said a Borough spokesperson while dodging a flying rake. “Together, we can keep Columbia clean, safe, and only mildly chaotic.”
So mark your calendars, set your alarms, and maybe invest in a broom-themed advent calendar. Leafageddon is here. And it’s beautiful.
