In the quaint borough of Columbia, Pennsylvania—where the Susquehanna River flows and the gossip flows faster—Election Day 2025 has turned into a political cage match between Leo “The Legend” Lutz and Jasmine “The Challenger” Preston. One’s been mayor longer than some TikTokers have been alive. The other might become one of the first out transgender mayors in Pennsylvania. And the town? Oh, Columbia’s just sitting back with popcorn, wondering if this is politics or a reboot of “Survivor: Borough Edition.”
Leo Lutz: The Incumbent Who’s Basically Furniture
Leo Lutz has been mayor for 24 years. That’s right—he’s been in office since dial-up internet was still a thing. He’s the kind of guy who probably knows every pothole in Columbia by name and has personally yelled at each one to get its act together.
Accomplishments:
- Longevity: He’s been mayor longer than Columbia’s newest voters have been alive. That’s either impressive or suspicious.
- Community bulldozer: Leo doesn’t sit back. If something needs doing, he’s doing it—even if it means bulldozing through bureaucracy like a caffeinated raccoon in a trash bin.
- Council whisperer: He’s known for voicing his opinion loudly enough that Columbia City Council probably hears him in their dreams.
Plans if re-elected:
- Keep doing what he’s been doing, but with more gusto.
- Possibly rename Columbia to “Leoville” (okay, not officially, but we wouldn’t be shocked).
- Continue representing “the people,” which may or may not include squirrels, ghosts of past mayors, and that one guy who always shows up to council meetings in flip-flops.
Jasmine Preston: The Challenger With a Clipboard and a Dream
Jasmine Preston is the fresh face in this political sitcom. Born at Columbia Hospital, raised in Columbia and Elizabethtown, she’s got roots deeper than the town’s oldest oak tree. And she’s ready to shake things up like a blender on turbo mode.
Accomplishments:
- Chair of the Zoning Hearing Board: She’s made fair decisions that shaped Columbia’s future—like deciding where you can build your dream shed or your questionable art studio.
- Background in safety management and HR: Translation? She knows how to keep things safe and fire people politely.
- Advocate for arts and small businesses: She’s basically the fairy godmother of Columbia’s creative scene.
Plans if elected:
- Affordable housing, safer streets, and smarter spending. Basically, she wants Columbia to be less “meh” and more “heck yeah.”
- Transparency and financial responsibility. She might even livestream budget meetings with interpretive dance.
- Better communication. Like, maybe the town will finally get a newsletter that isn’t printed in Comic Sans.
The Showdown
Leo’s campaign slogan might as well be “If it ain’t broke, I probably fixed it.” Jasmine’s? “Let’s make Columbia sparkle like it’s 2025.” The debates have been civil, but the energy? Pure reality TV. One’s got experience. The other’s got vision. And Columbia’s voters? They’ve got whiplash.
So who’s going to win? The guy who’s basically Columbia’s mascot, or the woman who might just turn the borough into a Pinterest board?
Stay tuned. Or better yet, vote. Because this race is so wild, even the potholes are watching.
