A factual yet slightly humorous roundup from the MDJ 02‑1‑03 docket sheets

If you thought March was coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb—well, the traffic scene in Columbia and West Hempfield had other plans. Our local Magisterial District Judge Miles K. Bixler had a busy stretch as a parade of traffic citations made their way into the system. Here’s your friendly neighborhood breakdown of who did what, when, and how badly they annoyed Pennsylvania’s traffic code.

🚦 John E. Griffy: The Headliner of the Week

If there were frequent‑flyer miles for traffic violations, John E. Griffy of Columbia would be flying first‑class by now. His name appears across multiple docket entries, each with its own theme—like a greatest hits album, but with citations.

🛑 1. Stop Signs Are Optional?

• Charge: 75 § 3323B — Stop Signs & Yield Signs
• Offense Date: 03/17/2026
• Arresting Officer: Christopher J. Moss
  Apparently on March 17th, John treated a stop sign more like a polite suggestion. The law disagreed.

🚙 2. The “Lanes Are Merely Guidelines” Incident

• Charge: 75 § 3309 — Driving on Roadways Laned for Traffic
• Offense Date: 03/08/2026
  For reasons known only to him (and perhaps his alignment shop), John wandered out of his lane like he was browsing for new ones.

🔧 3. The Inspection Sticker Saga (Part 1, 2… and 3?)

• Charge: 75 § 4703A — Operating Vehicle Without Valid Inspection
• Offense Dates: 03/08/2026, 03/17/2026
  At this point, it appears John wasn’t just missing an inspection sticker—he may have been making a lifestyle choice.

🍻 4. Restrictions on Alcoholic Beverages

• Charge: 75 § 3809A
• Offense Date: 03/08/2026
  This doesn’t necessarily mean drinking and driving—it may simply involve having open containers in the vehicle. But let’s be honest, it’s rarely a sign of world‑class decision‑making.

📵 5. Driving While Suspended

• Charge: 75 § 1543B1ii
• Offense Dates: 03/08/2026 and 03/17/2026
  John apparently decided that a license suspension is more of a gentle warning than an actual rule.

In summary: John Griffy is very well‑acquainted with the West Hempfield Township Police, particularly Officer Moss and Officer McKernan. If they had a punch card, he’d be due for a free coffee by now.

👴 Joseph C. Joyce: A Simple Stop Sign Situation

• Charge: 75 § 3323B — Stop Signs & Yield Signs
• Offense Date: 03/09/2026
• Arresting Officer: Karl Hartranft
  Joseph of Lancaster may not have a long list of infractions, but he kicked off his March with a classic: rolling through a stop sign. We’ve all been there—though usually not when Officer Hartranft is watching.

🍃 Jude Aristil: The “Is That Sticker Up to Date?” Case

• Charge: 75 § 4703A — Operating Vehicle Without Inspection
• Offense Date: 03/20/2026
• Arresting Officer: Christopher Moss
  Jude of Lancaster may need a calendar reminder app. Or maybe his inspection sticker just ghosted him.

👠 Cecilia L. Gutierrez: Stop Sign Shuffle

• Charge: 75 § 3323B
• Offense Date: 03/21/2026
• Arresting Officer: Ruhama Lamure
  Cecilia from Mountville kept it simple—just one stop sign violation. Compared to the rest of the week’s cast, she’s practically a model citizen.

🚧 Chavarria Portillo: Something a Bit Different

• Charge: 75 § 4107B2.1 — Unlawful Activities
• Offense Date: 03/19/2026
• Arresting Agency: Columbia Borough Police
  Unlike the others, Chavarria wasn’t cited for a simple traffic violation—this one falls into the “unlawful activities” category, which is usually the legal system’s way of saying “it’s complicated.”

🌎 Chadwick E. Dickison: DC Driver Meets PA Traffic Rule

• Charge: 75 § 3111A — Obedience to Traffic-Control Devices
• Offense Date: 03/19/2026
  Chadwick, visiting from Washington, DC, apparently wasn’t aware that Pennsylvania traffic lights aren’t just decorative art installations.

🚫 Jaime Alvarez‑Rodriguez: Driving While Suspended

• Charge: 75 § 1543A
• Offense Date: 03/19/2026
• Arresting Officer: Karl Hartranft
  Jaime of Lancaster joined the “suspended driving club,” though with fewer episodes than John Griffy’s series.

📝 Closing Thoughts

March has clearly been a lively month on the roads of Columbia, Mountville, Lancaster, and West Hempfield. From stop‑sign skeptics to inspection‑sticker procrastinators, our communities showcased the full spectrum of “please don’t do that” behavior behind the wheel.

While these are real cases—and each citation represents real responsibilities and consequences—it’s important to remember that a little humor can help us process the less‑than‑ideal moments in local life.

If nothing else, let this be a reminder:
Check your inspection sticker. Stop at stop signs. And for the love of Route 462, stay in your lane.