😂 COLUMBIAPA.ONLINE — FUNNY CRIME REPORT ROUNDUP All cases are real. The comedy is optional… but encouraged. 🚓 1. Librado Ortiz‑Caban & The DUI Hat Trick Case: MJ‑02103‑CR‑0000060‑2026Charge Theme: “Sir, please stop doing that.” According to the court records, Librado Ortiz‑Caban allegedly decided to take a triple‑feature DUI tour, collecting charges like they were loyalty…
Level Up Pizza: Columbia’s Slice of Escape Columbia Borough may be busy raising taxes and patching rotting beams, but one thing remains solid: the pizza at Level Up Pizza. Sitting right in the heart of 17512, this spot has become more than a restaurant—it’s a refuge from borough headaches and a reminder that good food…
March 25, 2026 — Extended “Lancaster County Law & Disorder” Edition All information pulled directly from the official docket sheets. 🚗 Traffic Troubles & License Lore Matthew Joseph Roman Docket: MJ‑02103‑TR‑0000488‑2026Charge: Operating a vehicle without an inspection stickerOffense Date: 03/24/2026Agency: Columbia Borough PoliceMatthew chose the bold strategy of driving inspection‑free. Unsurprisingly, the police disagreed. Henry…
Leafageddon 2025: Columbia Borough Braces for the Great Sweep-Off COLUMBIA, PA — Residents of Columbia Borough, grab your rakes, move your cars, and prepare your souls. The annual showdown between man, machine, and Mother Nature is upon us. That’s right: leaf collection and street sweeping notifications are back, and they’re coming for your curbs. According…
Always Lancaster: A “Gift” That Looks More Like a Power Grab A response to ColumbiaSpy.com’s cheerleading of the LNP transfer ColumbiaSpy.com recently applauded the announcement that veteran journalist David Greene will lead Always Lancaster, a nonprofit taking ownership of LNP | LancasterOnline. Pennon’s decision to hand over the paper as a “gift” is being spun…
Teacher’s Arrest in Child Exploitation Case Sparks Outrage and Calls for Stronger Safeguards Lancaster, PA — The arrest of David Sean Burkhart, a longtime Manheim Township High School teacher and former girls’ basketball coach, has ignited outrage across Lancaster County. Burkhart, 45, is accused of sending nude photos to what he believed was a 14‑year‑old…
Last night, the heart of Columbia sparkled as families gathered for the Annual Christmas Tree Lighting, a tradition lovingly planned and carried forward by Don Murphy and his wife, Becky. For more than a decade, the Murphys—together with the Merchant’s Association of Columbia (MAC), volunteers, and countless community members—have turned this event into a celebration…
Columbia Mourns the Passing of a Beloved Matriarch, Joanne L. Murphy Columbia, PA — The Columbia community is celebrating the remarkable life of Joanne L. Murphy, affectionately known as “The Nan,” who passed away peacefully on January 3, 2026, at the age of 85. Joanne was more than a lifelong resident—she was a cornerstone of…
Columbia Man Charged With Corruption of Minors Following Police Investigation COLUMBIA, Pa. — A Columbia Borough man has been arrested and charged after police responded to a report involving a juvenile at an apartment complex on Plane Street on the night of February 10, 2026, according to a criminal complaint filed in Lancaster County. Columbia…
Lancaster County Man Charged in Residential Burglary, Theft, and Related Offenses COLUMBIA, Pa. — A Lancaster County man has been charged in connection with a February burglary in West Hempfield Township in which thousands of dollars in jewelry were stolen from the home of an elderly relative, according to a criminal complaint filed by township…